The Psychology of Dating
There is plenty of advice to be had on the subject of dating. As with gambling, everyone has a "system" that they say will work for you. One method that you may not hear over the back fence is called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Those who tout this technique have given it considerable thought; it is not a guessing game to them. They're not throwing things against the wall to see what sticks. They consider NLP to be the epitome of scientific dating.
Mirror and Match
One of the substrative modalities of NLP is called "mirror and match". It's a basic enough idea: If your date is folding her hands, fold yours. If your date leans forward, you lean forward. If your date uses a particular word to describe something, use it a few sentences later when you're describing something. Since most people are not aware of their subconscious mannerisms, mirroring them gives your date the feeling that you are someone she has known for a while, or at least are someone with whom she has much in common.
Accentuate The Positive
Another hypothesis of NLP is that positive language begets positive results. Be careful, they say, about the words you use, and avoid negative terminology. Instead of saying something is "awful", say it is "amazing" or "unbelievable". If your date drops a negative inference in conversation, agree with what she has said, and then steer the discussion into more positive waters. By removing negative influences from conversation, you put your date in a comfort zone, and she will want to date you again.
In line with most traditional sales pitches, NLP encourages people to ask questions that are readily answered with the word "yes". Building a series of statements or inquiries that elicit positive answers from your date makes her feel as though you're both getting along quite well, evaporating insecurities as the date goes on. This psychological approach to dating may not work for everyone, but it gives men a better shot at picking up women than parroting some goofy pick-up line they heard from their co-workers.
If you want to know more about dating secrets, check out Neil Strauss.
Mirror and Match
One of the substrative modalities of NLP is called "mirror and match". It's a basic enough idea: If your date is folding her hands, fold yours. If your date leans forward, you lean forward. If your date uses a particular word to describe something, use it a few sentences later when you're describing something. Since most people are not aware of their subconscious mannerisms, mirroring them gives your date the feeling that you are someone she has known for a while, or at least are someone with whom she has much in common.
Accentuate The Positive
Another hypothesis of NLP is that positive language begets positive results. Be careful, they say, about the words you use, and avoid negative terminology. Instead of saying something is "awful", say it is "amazing" or "unbelievable". If your date drops a negative inference in conversation, agree with what she has said, and then steer the discussion into more positive waters. By removing negative influences from conversation, you put your date in a comfort zone, and she will want to date you again.
In line with most traditional sales pitches, NLP encourages people to ask questions that are readily answered with the word "yes". Building a series of statements or inquiries that elicit positive answers from your date makes her feel as though you're both getting along quite well, evaporating insecurities as the date goes on. This psychological approach to dating may not work for everyone, but it gives men a better shot at picking up women than parroting some goofy pick-up line they heard from their co-workers.
If you want to know more about dating secrets, check out Neil Strauss.
